4 posts tagged “dad”

What lesson did your father teach you that still helps you in life?

I didn't answer this question on Father's Day.  It was actually very difficult to think of my dad that day - the day that I really should have.  I think about him every day and most of the time it's happy memories of things we did, places we went, songs he sang.  But now that I've had a chance to move away, a little, from the sting of Father's Day without him, I thought I'd share some of the stuff he taught me that's really made a difference.

1.  Tell the truth, the straight and whole truth, even if it's something that the other person doesn't want to hear.  He lived his life this way, so I saw this theory in practice day in and day out.  He was right.  Sometime the truth isn't pretty.  Sometimes it hurts.  But in the end, we're all better off knowing from the outset the way things are.  My dad trained horses and one of the hardest things he had to do was look at clients and tell them that their horse would never be a runner.  This was hard because people sink a lot of money into these horses.  Also, though, because if my dad looked at someone and told them their horse would run, they'd take their horse to another trainer - and one less horse in the barn negatively affects your bottom line.  But he always figured it was better to be honest with someone then take their money or let them throw good money after bad.

2.  Listen more than you talk.  I still struggle with this lesson.  He was good at this.  Not because he didn't have anything to say or not because he didn't have opinions but because he understood the value of hearing what someone says.

3.  Trust someone until they give you a reason not to.  This has turned out to be something very important to me.  He was always willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt.  He'd take people at face value and not consider what other people had to say about them (unless he considered the source reliable).  For this he had many workers over the years that lots of people wouldn't hire.  He got burned a couple of times but for the most part we eneded up with incredibly hard working and loyal people.  Many who became close friends of the family.

4. People who are bad to animals are bad people in general.  He was so right about that.  The way someone will treat an animal who trusts in them for care is indicative of the way they treat the people in their lives.

5. When you love someone, show them.  Telling them is secondary. Dad taught me that talk was cheap and that actions spoke louder than words.  This lesson was driven home by the fact that, until later in life, he very rarely told me he loved me, but he showed me every day.  He showed me by being there when I needed him, making sure I was in trouble when I derserved it and always maintaining an upstanding character.  One of the biggest shows of respect you can give for another person is to maintain your own character.  Respecting yourself proves how much you respect those around you.

Show us a picture of your father.

Dad, May '01

I miss him so much every day.

Show us something that hurts.

Dad

Being able to remember my dad like this but not spend time with him like this anymore.  One of my all time favorite memories of dad was being at the racetrack with him.

Mute

When I did a search on my flickr page for "great" this is the only pic that came up so I figured I'd share it.

Me as a baby

In the upper left hand corner you've got me and dad.  He was pretty great.  Upper right hand is my dad again with one of the horses at OBS.  The bottom left hand corner is my grandmother (dad's mom) with me and my cousin (I'm the younger one).  She was an amazing woman, born in 1905, and she went through a lot of stuff - pretty great, I think.  The bottom right hand picture is four generations of the Chamberlain women - though none of us carry that name.  That's me, my mom, her mom, and her mom's mom, my Great-Grandmother.

Man O' War

I've included this picture of Man O' War because he was my favorite of the racing giants (and since someone already brought of Secretariat).  He won 20 of 21 starts and was retired in 1921 with career earnings of $249,465.00.  Legend has it that when a spectator saw him in action he asked the groom, "Who's he by?" to which the groom replied, "He's by hisself and there ain't nobody gonna get near him".

Play along here.